Bizzare

**********

Well, well! What do we have here? . . . . . . . . . . .
I don't know either. Actually, I'm dead bored, so I guess I'll start ranting on and on. Here we go . . .
One . . .
Two . . .
. . . .
. . . .
Oh yeah. Three.

**********

"I am a doorknob!!!".

A figure sped along the corridor, so fast that it was just a blur to the casual observer. It turned seven hundred and twenty degrees at the corner, and shot down another corridor, taking five seconds to realise it had just come from that direction, and by that time, had just upset time, space, reality, and a maid who was carrying a tray-load of cutlery.

Elsewhere in the residence . . .

A girl was spotted wandering in the library, muttering about how she was a pane of wood. If course, one would realise the correct English to use would be 'plank of wood'. But, I'll leave you to tell her that.

Every once and a while though, she would seem to gain her focus and look around the place in an interested sort of way, give a friendly wave at the observer, and suddenly just blank out and start muttering about being a pane of wood again.

Yet another was seen in the kitchen threatening the terrified chiefs that if they didn't start feeding her snacks, she would turn into a hinge and trap their fingers therefore dooming them to a life in which they would never again touch another spatula.

And the guards of the place was currently in the entertainment room. Another girl was playing the Playstation. They had tried to tell her that she was an intruder in their 'peaceful abode', but after receiving an unblinking scowl, decided to let her have her fun. She had then so courteously told them that if anyone (I.e., a 'pane' of wood, a doorknob, or a hinge) was looking for a door hinge, she was available.

I guess I wouldn't have to tell you this is all very bizarre.

----------

"What the hell is going on?!" a man yelled.

"Uh, we don't know" a guard stammered.

"And what do you mean, you don't know?!".

"Well, you see . . .".

"You're letting four kids . . .".

"Actually, sir, they're young teens . . .".

"Kids, run amok in my home . . .".

"Sir, I would rather prefer if you called them young teens . . . sir". The guard who said that suddenly found himself wondering why in the world he said that.

The man clearly in charge looked baffled for a second. Then, in a low, dangerous tone, said, "You would rather me prefer call them what?".

"N . . nothing, sir".

"You listen to me" the man growled, "You'd better get rid of those kids this instant. I don't give a shit whether you kill them. Just get them outta here".

----------

"Kae-Chan! There you are!".

Kae-Chan looked up from her video gaming to give the girl in the doorway an acknowledged nod, before turning back to her current game of 'Mega Man X4'. Dal-Chan looked insulted for a second, then commented, "I thought you didn't like that game".

"I don't".

"Then why are you playing it?".

"Cause I like it".

. . . . This bit of reasoning didn't quite register in Dal-Chan's otherwise unstable mind at that current moment. After a slight pause, she asked why she liked it, and why she didn't.

"I don't like Mega Man. He's a stupid tiny blue blob".

Oh. That seemed reasonable. "Who're you playing now?".

"Zero".

"What's so different about her?".

"The fact that Zero's a big red blob with long blonde hair sticking out from one side. And Zero's a he".

"Oh". After another pause, Dal-Chan shrugged, "Looks like a girl to me".

Kae-Chan shrugged, "Each to their own opinions I guess". Then, "Are you over your sugar high yet?".

"Nope".

"Hmm. I hoped you were, cause zooming all over the place disrupting time, space, reality and maids with trays loaded with cutlery ought to have drained you a bit".

"Kae-Chan" Dal-Chan said patiently, "We do that all the time in the Big House, remember?".

*********

The big house, to those who are new to the World Council, is the home of the West World Council members equivalent to the white house. Except its named for its size, not the colour. If it was, then it would probably be called 'The grayish-white tinged with silver blue and odd splashes of lots and lots of different colours except for pink' house. But, as you can see, that's too long, and hence was named The Big House.

*********

"For your information" Kae-Chan sighed, "I don't. You forgot that we don't exactly have the best of memories".

"Oh yeah . . . I forgot".

----------

"Where's the brats?" one guard asked his friends.

"I would rather prefer you don't call them brats".

"Look. The boss made me head of this thing, and who are you to say not to call them brats?" the first guard asked nastily.

"Uh . . . no one".

"Exactly". The guard looked satisfied, "So, lets go find those freakin' pieces of horse . . .".

"I would rather you not . . .".

"Hey!" the guard spun around to face the man, "What did . . .".

"I didn't say anything!!".

"You . . didn't?". The man suddenly had a prickling feeling at the back of his neck. "Then . . . who did?".

"I did".

The man turned around slowly. He found himself staring into black apathetic eyes, which suddenly turned blood red. A red jewel appeared on the forehead, glimmering, filling the man's mind with horrible images of death. The man couldn't take anymore. He gave a horrified yell, and tried to unload the bullets held in the gun into the 'monster'.

It laughed evilly, picked the man up by the throat and slammed him onto the ground. The man twitched for several seconds, and laid still.

Kazuya resumed his human form and surveyed the group of men too terrified to move calmly. He spoke up then, "You shouldn't call a few harmless, defenceless girls names like that".

Then, from behind him, an indignant voice yelled, "Hey! Watch who you're calling defenceless you demented purple bat!". A girl jumped out of no where, aiming a kick at Kazuya.

The men held their breaths. Would this monster/human kill her as readily as it had killed their leader?

However, he calmly moved to the side and plucked her out of the air gently. "Not fair Kazzy!" Fuzzie-Chan shouted, struggling in futile, "I want a rematch!".

"Later" Kazuya told her, placing her on the ground, "After we get back to the big house".

"But that's ages away!" she protested, "And that's not fair!". She crossed her arms in front of her then, pouting, "Fine. What do you care? You don't care about what I think".

"Fuzzie-Chan, didn't you realise we're in the wrong dimension" he asked.

She stared at him for a moment. Then, "I was wondering why we weren't in a castle with evil bats flying here and there, and lightning flashing in the background and a weird guy in a red cape threatening to give us liposuction".

Kazuya winced, "Actually, that's not the right one either".

"It's not? Were we supposed to be in the one where there are little lambs frolicking in the middle of a green meadow sprinkled with colourful pretty flowers such as daisies and violets with a perfect blue sky that has cotton-ball clouds dotting the horizon?".

"No".

She threw her hands up in the air in exasperation, "What then?!".

"Well, we're supposed to be in that place where there's the guy who keeps on saying 'no-da' and another guy who keeps on turning the money-mad guy into a pile of soot when the money-mad guy throws him to the other side of the room for calling him Monster-Chan".

"Oh . . . that place!". Fuzzie-Chan beamed, "I like that place. Except for those annoying flies with blue hair that keep on saying 'cure-cure, fix-fix'. They're annoying".

"They're not flies. They're nyan-nyans".

"Whatever" Fuzzie-Chan shrugged, "Where are the others? I want to get outta this hell hole".

The two stepped into the library, where there were three girls facing a horde of other men armed with all sorts of weapons, ranging from the bazooka to the magnum to the army knife, to the butter-knife and the pitchfork.

They were just in time to see the girl who thought she was a doorknob yell, "That's it! Dishonour on you . . dishonour on . . ." she turned to the nearest man, "Write this down". He looked around absently, plucked a lampshade from the nearest lamp, pulled a pen from his pocket and looked up at her. She nodded in approval, and continued, "Dishonour on you! Dishonour on your family . . !!".

"That's my lampshade!!". A voice of a man was clearly heard over her ranting.

"Dishonour on your lampshade as well!!".

"That's it!!" the man screamed, "Dishonour on me, alright. Dishonour on my family, fine. Dishonour on my lampshade . . . you're asking for a death sentence young lady!!!!".

Kae-Chan rolled her eyes, (Which was pretty impressive considering she was supposed to be a door hinge), "Oh, shut your fudging mouth".

"Huh?" he turned to face her, "Fudging?".

"Yeah" the girl who thought she was a pane of wood nodded in agreement (Actually, for those who hasn't realised it, she's Lilie-Chan) "Shoot you. Darn you to heck".

Kae-Chan continued, "You kiss us off".

"KISS?!".

Lilie-Chan sneered at him, (As much as Lilie-Chan could anyway), "You sock-sucking son of a witch".

Kae-Chan added, "Shrew you and the horse you came in on".

"Can someone please tell me what the freakin' hell they're talking about?!" the man demanded.

Just then, a man appeared behind him, this one silver-haired. "You see" Lee Chaolan said seriously, "I don't like them swearing. It's very rude".

"Yeah, you peanut-butter woolie!" Dal-Chan taunted the man. (NOT at Lee. Definitely not at Lee).

"Come back when your brain does!". (Kae-Chan, who was enjoying herself very much).

"You fudgy hoof-print of a cow!". (Lilie-Chan, for want of a better word)

"And that's not rude?!" the man was practically in hysterics.

Lee considered it for a moment. "Well, at least they're being rude in a polite sort of way".

Kae-Chan leered at the man, "You'd better shut your frickin' mouth else I'll shove Lee's cigarette pack up Uranus!".

"Hey!" Lee turned to her, "You leave my cigarettes out of this!".

However, the girls were on a roll by now (Not to mention a sugar high), and it took more than a threat from Lee to calm them down. "That's where they belong Lee! In . . .". Dal-Chan was cut off by Kazuya.

"I think it's time to go, don't you?" Kazuya asked worriedly.

"I definitely think so" Lee nodded in concerned agreement.

"Hey! What the heck do you think you're doing, you woolie?!" Lilie-Chan protested as Kazuya picked her up and slung her over a shoulder.

"Put me down you duck!!" Dal-Chan yelled as Lee took hold of her by the back of her shirt, doing the same to Kae-Chan, who yelled, "What are you doing?! We haven't even had lunch, Chaolan!".

"That's going too far" Lee growled.

"But I'm hungry!".

"Yeah!" Dal-Chan agreed, "I'm hungry too!".

"Same goes for me!!" Lilie-Chan spoke up.

Fuzzie-Chan, who had uncharacteristically been quiet, sang out, "I know where the kitchen is!!!". And ran off.

"Wait for us!!". Lilie, Dal, and Kae-Chan somehow managed to slip from their captors' grasps and followed the hyperactive Council member out of the room.

Lilie-Chan however paused at the doorway, saying to the men assembled there, "You know, you shouldn't be playing with those things. It might hurt someone. You should play with harmless things like, paper air-planes or toy cars or something". She vanished then.

The men who had been armed with various weapons placed them down very carefully, and went off to hunt for the things she had mentioned. (However, it didn't turn out to be quite safe, since after sometime, most of them suffered from paper-cuts and bruises from being run over).

Kazuya and Lee exchanged glances. In the background, the man was ranting on and on about how much trouble the girl had gotten into for placing dishonour on his lampshade.

"You know" Kazuya finally said, "They don't really need us to guard them. They can protect themselves".

"I know" Lee agreed, "But you do realise someone has to protect the world from them".

With that in mind, they both made their way to the kitchen. Unfortunately, they didn't know where the place was, and ended up wandering around the whole residence, somehow ending up in a castle with evil bats flying here and there, and lightning flashing in the background and a weird guy in a red cape threatening to give them liposuction.

As I've said before. I guess I wouldn't have to tell you this is all very bizarre.