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-: The Tick :-: Random Cartoon :-

"Ladies and gentlemen, you might want to shield yourselves with your dessert menus, I might be dangerous!"
- The Tick

"Destiny's powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it's up to me to lie in it. I am destined to be a superhero, to right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evil-doers everywhere. You don't fight destiny, no sir! And you don't eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all...scratchy. Hey, I'm narrating here!"
- The Tick

"Gravity is a harsh mistress."
- The Tick

"Ticks suck blood. Do you suck blood?".
"Uh, yeah I suck blood all the time. Look I got a straw right here pal, you want a demonstration?!" - defending his choice to call himself the Tick

"You're not going crazy, you're going sane in a crazy world!" - The Tick

"And so, may evil beware and may good dress warmly and eat lots of fresh vegetables."
- The Tick

"The Tick caters to no man!" - when told that he would have to dress up as a caterer to sneak into Chairface's party.

"Well, once again my friend, we find that science is a two-headed beast. One head is nice, it gives us aspirin and other modern conveniences,...but the other head of science is bad! Oh beware the other head of science, Arthur, it bites!"
- The Tick

"He said something about… going for a swim".
…
"Water! People swim in water!"
- Arther and weird bad-dude, trying to figure out where the Tick went

"Didn't find the Tick, but I found a beautiful pie"
- Sewer Urchin

"Head spinning, ears ringing,...no, more of a throbbing really. But regardless, OUCH!"
- pinned against the wall by Barry's shield

"Can't lose my name, it's on all my stationery!"
- rallying himself against Barry, the villain who wants the Tick to give up his superhero name

"Nobody mucks around with the Tick's bodily membranes! Prepare for swift Justice!"
- The Tick confronting Thrackazog

"So foul gelatin, you would do battle with the nose of your birth?"
- confronting his clone made from his mucus

"Mucal invader, is there no end to your oozing?!"
- during battle with his clone

"I don't know the meaning of the word surrender! I mean, I know it, I'm not dumb...just not in this context."
- when given the option to surrender by Thrackazog

"Slideshow… boring. Losing… consciousness."
- during a briefing about his mission

"Ah savory cheese puffs, made inedible by time and fate" - during spring cleaning

"Yes, I'm doing laundry!" - overjoyed by simple pleasures

"It's starting to smell a little like danger in here, , or heavily fried food."
- visiting the evacuated diner

"Well, once again we find that clowning and anarchy don't mix. And even though evil may wear big floppy pants, it ARRRRRGH!..."
- finding out that he had not quite finished off the Proto-Clown

"Yes, yes, it's so true. We're all born into the cold unyielding world of nothing, no blankets, no glove and scarf gift sets, and why? Why?"
- the Tick's mind trying to read too much into one of the Tick's statements

"Oh what a goofy work is man!"
- the Tick's mind, waxing philosophy

"Yes, evil comes in many forms, whether it be a man-eating cow or Joseph Stalin, but you can't let the package hid the pudding! Evil is just plain bad! You don't cotton to it. You gotta smack it in the nose with the rolled-up newspaper of goodness! Bad dog! Bad dog!"

"On justice and on friendship, there is no price, but there are established credit limits."
- The Tick

"Yes my slimey friend, once again slime does not pay! You can't just coat yourself with artificial mucus and slip thorough the long fingers of the law. It's wrong and it's gross"
- lecturing criminal fish.

"Don't ever try to swim against the mighty tide of justice"

"What's this?! It's a little boy's face! OH don't worry little boy, I'll free you from this block of wood."
- carving his new sidekick

"I'm watching you too world!"
- replying to Arthur's state of "Whole world is watching."

"Space, the final frontier, the great black blanket. Man a guy can get bored out here. Ah.....space hurts."
- drifting in space

"You know Arthur, when you spend two months riding around on a really big man, you start to learn a few things about yourself. You learn that it is a really great thing to stay on Earth and live in a place that has no arms or legs of its own. And most importantly, Arthur, you learn how to close your eyes and tell yourself that this just isn't happening to me. So, did you miss me?"
- The Tick

"Villain love goddess! You toy with the hearts of men!"
- confronting Venus

"This place is padded with evil characters and we're unarmed!"

"Don't make us bite you in hard to reach places!"

"Eating kittens is just plain..plain WRONG! And no one should do it ever!"

"Arthur this is a truly frightening moment...What if we're no good? I never had tap lessons."
- preparing to perform for the Enemy Awards

"…You know Arthur, when evil is afoot and you don't have any arms, you gotta use your head. And when evil is ahead and you're behind you gotta do the legwork but when you can't get a leg up, you gotta be hip, you gotta keep your leg up, you gotta kick some....Well sidekick give me some of them arms."

"You know though today was the worst day of my life, I learned many things. First, the world looks a lot different when you're six inches tall and covered in feathers. Second, two heads are definitely not better than one. And finally you can lay an egg and still feel like a man."
- The Tick

"You know..I've heard the smarter you are, the more wrinklely your brain. And you guys' brains must be the wrinkleliest! Oh sure, ordinary Joes like me and Arthur here, maybe our brains are a little on the smooth side. Buy you don't have to be a genius to know that evil is bad!...And..Good isn't!"
- The Tick

"Deadly Bulb, I'm about to write you a reality check! Or would you prefer the cold hard cash of truth?"
- The Tick

"This is what we heroes call the denouement, that's French for when we finish off the supervillains...huh?...huh?...Roof pig, most unexpected."
- The Tick climbing up side of building.

"I gotta find a new place to shine." - The Tick

"Happy me, I'm the biggest, brightest, ball of gas in the cosmos." - The Tick

"So...tick. Interesting strategy last night...You know (heh,heh) the one where you just...Oh, stood there in the middle of the fight and did absolutely nothing while the rest of us got CREAMED!"
- Die Fledermaus

"Below I dream of fish, above me wretched siblings prance in sequins."
- Haiku

"Someone come and pummel this annoying person!"
- The Fin's response to Arthur