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Wolfwood: "You got us into this...DO something!"
Vash: "Me? You fell in by yourself."
Woldfood: "You're the outlaw."
Vash: "...WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!"

"Are you two alive? If you're dead then you don't have to say anything...but if you are then maybe I can give you a lift."
- Random Driver

"I am known as...Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidobohertz Boharas Gombigbobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre AndriCharton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser the Third. Don't hesitate to call"
- Vash

"A man who has slaughtered the innocents, does the evil of evil things with the prize of 60,000,000,000$$ on his head?! YES I AM THAT MAN!"
- Vash

Wolfwood: "I'm saying we have to make a few sacrifices."
Vash: "...can I make a different one?"

Meryl: "Why doesn't anything NICE ever follow you?!"
Vash: "Yeah, it's a real drag, isn't it?"

"You know, now that I actually stop to think about this, this is really...SCARY!"
- Vash, when shooting himself down 6 floors

Vash: "Normally when you buy an old, used bike, you're supposed to repair it before riding it!"
Wolfwood: "Are you dissing my beautiful shiny Angelina II?!?!"
Vash: "I'm dissing YOU, not your stupid broken bike!!"

Vash: "I lost my room...CAN I COME SLEEP WITH YOU!?"

Dominique: "If I was so inclined, I could of killed you three times by now."
Vash: "Well, if I was so inclined, during this conversation... I could have groped you five times!"

"It's best not to burst the bubble of an airhead."
- Vash, about Meryl

Vash: "Hahahaha! I'm like a sitting duck over here! I'm defenseless!"

Millie: "I'm really scared. The Humanoid Typhoon is on the loose, what do we do Meryl?"
Meryl: "What do we do? Duh! We run away that's what."

Vash: "Dangerous toys are fun, but you could get hurt!"

Vash: "Ooo, scaaary. Later!"

"I've always had my suspicions that you were no mere mortal, but I never imagined that you were actually...a cat."
- Wolfwood, mistaking Kureroneko for Vash

"Now I know why the short haired girl is so pissed off at you all the time!"
- Wolfwood to Vash after falling into a pit in the middle of a desert.

"That's cute! Vash is being put in strangleholds by the kids again!"
- Milly, with a bright and happy smile on her face

"Yeah, I'd advise against it, she's really bitchy!"
- Vash after a weird kid tries to hit on Meryl

"Playing cool, are you? You've got some rocks, mister! Say something, you show-off!"
"...May I have another fork?"
- Gang member and Legato's response.

"You're unpredictable. I like unpredictable men."
"Me, unpredictable?? I'm not the one teleporting all over the damned place!"
- Dominique and Vash.

"Good God, I have to fight HIM!!!!"
- Vash, holding his head and screaming like a baby, freaking about having to face Legato.

"Aw man, I actually have to fight this guy!! How can I possibly win such a battle or even have a chance to survive a fight with a guy who smiles with those evil eyes?! The answer is I can't, I'm gonna be slaughterd, that's all. It's not even funny. I should just back out! That's what I should do alright! Yeah, yeah! For once I'm right! Yeah, yeah!" - Full version of above :)

"My name is VASH THE STAMPEDE!! Forgive the lack of warning, but it's time for my daily massacre! If you do not believe I am the real thing, take a good look at me and start freaking out!!"
- Vash

"First you're cryin your eyes out like an abandoned baby, and then you run around jumping off cliffs! What the hell's the matter with you?!"
- Wolfwood about Vash

"Doesn't anyone trust the word of a priest anymore?!"
- Wolfwood

"However, I do know one guy who whines, cries, and throws tantrums but still manages to save everyone. He's a crazy man who's not afraid of anything. Even though he's been scarred from head to toe, he'll always be there."
- Wolfwood

"I get it! You're Grey the Ninelives. Can't exactly say I'm happy to meet you."
- Wolfwood, before fighting

"Can't I kill those either?!?"
- Wolfwood referring to the huge sand worms that Vash wouldn't let him shoot.

"An egotistical being like myself can't be allowed to live."
- Legato

"Mama, why does this keep on happening to me? I haven't done anything wrong but I'm always in trouble and everyone is always picking on me. What do I do, Mama?!...Why am I crying in French?" *Notices he's been crying on boxers* "AHH!!!"
- Vash

"That makes us even now for your help on the sandsteamer." *Frame shrinkens* "Hey! Is that all the time I get?!" *Frame disappears*
- Vash, after helping Meryl shoot mama Nerbraska

"'Thou shall not kill' remember?! What kind of church man are you anyway??"
- Vash to Wolfwood

"I knew it! Death and poverty like me so much they brought friends...and insurance girls."
- Vash the Stampede

"So Vash, how's Max? Is he well?"
"Oh yea, he's doing great. He has staring contests with forecast charts."
- The Doctor and Vash

"Damn! My B flat! My B flat's gone!"
- Midvalley the Hornfreak

"Lord, what the HELL am I doing here?"
- Wolfwood

"Total slaughter, total slaughter. I won't leave a single man alive. Ladeedadeedide, genocide. Ladeedadeedud, an ocean of blood. Let's begin the killing time."
- Vash's song.

"Oh thank heavens you asked! I'll tell you all about it! It's a rather long story even though is really just a short one."
- Wolfwood

-:Serious:-

"I was dreaming. Everything... Everything was so horribly dry, even peoples' hearts. From far away, as I watched the people who lived there, I always found myself wondering how and why could they possibly keep on living. What motivation did they have that would get up everyday, no matter what, for the rest of their lives?" - Vash

"We're nothing like God. Not only are our powers limited, but sometimes we are driven to become the devil himself." -Chapel

"How are you supposed to grow up when the only thing that grows is your sentimentalism?" -Knives